Who Am I Really?

First off, Jean's reaction (see "The Final Week of Tennessee) to everything that I said to her was a lot of polite nodding and smiling. She thought it was interesting and was glad that I could tell her more and straighten it all out. Sorry the previous post might seem disjointed. Someone called about halfway through my writing it. :P

SO... I've been going to early morning seminary this week. It's at a Morgan's house (a new found brother of mine) and it starts at 6:40--which isn't too early. All of the guys from my ward go every morning so it's a lot of fun.

I was at a ward member's home (Phil Smartt's) for dinner on Sunday night when a certain thought struck a chord. I have pondered it since and what direct meanings it has to my life (and the lives of my friends and family.)

Brother Smartt, as I call him since he's my Sunday School teacher, invites his kids and their families over one Sunday of each month and has a gospel discussion after dinner. He thought Kyle, Joyce (Kyle's wife), and I should tag along last Sunday, so we did! We were mingling with the relatives after dinner when Brother Smartt called us all to attention.

"Now look here," he said with his booming six-foot-two-230-pound voice, "we're gonna have our discussion now so everyone gather 'round and BE QUIET!"
A little one might peep out, "But grandpa-"
"No buts," he answers while he points his 60-plus year old finger at the child, "only your's in that stinkin' chair! Now you're gonna listen and you're gonna like it, ya hear?"
The icing on the cake is the old man's glare he adds to the entire thing. Sticking his head forward a bit and with a seemingly emotionless face, besides the eyes getting so big you would swear they would pop out of their sockets, the old man's glare is an admired expression of mine and will probably take 60-plus years to master.

Okay, so maybe Brother Smartt isn't like that at all. Although, he is a big guy and can be blunt at times.

We started the discussion (obviously, I don't remember what it's about or I'd give you more details), continued the discussion, and was near the end of the whole shebang when the thought came up. We were talking about the celestial kingdom--oh, yes! Out discussion was about the different kingdoms of glory--when one of the daughters, in her early 30's, started talking about Christ (I can't remember what it was, but it tied into the what Brother Smartt says next.)

"Now," Brother Smartt started, "you know why Christ atoned on this world? Do you know why, out of all the worlds, he was sent to this one?"
Everyone was puzzled. I was sure I didn't know it and, from the looks on their faces, I could tell no one else knew it either.
He proceeded, "It's because of all the worlds that God made, this world was the only one wicked enough to crucify their Savior."

I have researched this statement only a small bit and have found no doctrinal support for this claim, but, as I reach into the dusty cupboards of the "Interesting Statements" section in my brain, I do remember hearing the same claim before. I'm not saying I believe it with my heart and soul because, frankly, no prophet or apostle has said so (at least to my knowledge.) After reflecting on it, two main ideas popped into my head: "What a world" and "Who am I really?"

What a World
We live in a wicked world. We all know this. Filthiness, sleaze, deceit, murdering, stealing, and the list goes on. All of the other worlds have good and bad as well. But Christ, descending below all things, made his infinite atonement on this world. If Brother Smartt's statement is true and I really do live in the most wicked of worlds, then there must be a reason I was sent here and not to another world.

Who Am I Really?
People come and go throughout the ages. They're here for a time and then they die and move on. They were sent at certain times because of certain reasons (of which I admit to not knowing all the different reasons.) But I do know that I, and you, reader, are here on this earth at this time because of our righteous choices in the pre-mortal life. We have been told over and over again that we have been reserved for these last days.
Reserved, which Dictionary.com defines as, "To keep back, as for future use or for a special purpose." Which brings me to think, "Who am I really? And what was I like before coming here? If I was reserved for these final days, I must have done something good in my past life. Why was I sent to this world instead of another? What is my special purpose here? I must have been a good man in my past life, but I have forgotten all of it. If only I could remember."

Considering the claims that, a) this is the only world wicked enough to crucify Christ, and b) we have been held in reserve for these days, I see myself and my fellow men with new eyes. God must have said, "Philip," or whatever my pre-earth life name was, "I'm sending you to earth to prepare the way for mine Only Begotten. The world will be worse than it ever has been. People will do horrible things to each other. Many of my sons and daughters will forget about me after falling into selfishness and sin. You will also forget, my son, but you will be able learn of me and do what is necessary to return to me because of your brother Joseph, who has restored my gospel for the last time. You will know when you find the truth. My Spirit will make it manifest unto you. Now go, my son whom I love, and help your brothers and sisters. I will be waiting to help you."

I, nor you, were sent here to fail. Again, we were not sent here to fail! Life is long, but it's really not. What we do now determines what happens to us for the rest of eternity! We have been saved for this final dispensation because we were already righteous. We told God that we would come to earth and follow Him. The decision has already been made. All we need to do is follow through.